Monteiths, Edinburgh - Restaurant Review

Monteiths,
61 High Street.

Lunchtime on the mile. What on earth was I thinking? Touristy cafes, tartan tat and a complete dearth of value in terms of culinary experiences is what I expected. However, I had heard about a new place called Monteiths which, set up by the people responsible for the diva-tastic over styled Sygn bar in the west end, was supposed to be half decent and nicely tucked away.

They weren't kidding. On a dark dark royal mile, down a dark dark alley, beneath the dark dark 21st century kilts, down some dark dark stairs, some yuppies had set up home. I did wonder on my way down to the bar if I was lost, and about to walk into something I shoudln't. Indeed, on entering the bar the guy I assume was the manager looked thrilled to see us and the barman just looked stunned. We took a table towards the back of the bar and were handed menus.

The interior is small and awkwardly shaped and they have done well to fit in the tables in the way they have. It's done out in a very trendy, very 'now' way that a lot of bars in London and Manchester have been done up like recently. Think Sygn meets Oddfellows annoying graffitic style art meets the GRV paintjob and you're somewhere there. Mismatched furniture and a carboard mooses head nod to the fact we are, indeed in case you had forgottern, in Scotland.

We ordered. I ordered a glass of Viura (I screwed up at a blind tasting and wanted something really typical. This wasn't and was disappointing) and a glass of red for my companion which was much better. They managed to accomodate my eating difficulties, but gave me a choice of risotto or risotto. Sigh. She ordered a lamb burger. And then the wait began. There was only one other couple in there when we sat down, and they got their drinks about 10 minutes after we ordered our drinks. Our drinks arrived 10 minutes after that. Still, no harm done, the atmosphere is nice. I got chatting to the manager about wines and had a look at their boutique wine list. Unfortunately for him, we were kept waiting for an extra 30 minutes for our food which meant that I realised that whoever put that 'boutique' wine list together has absolutely no clue. I'd give examples, but I think I'd bore you, or get lambasted for being snotty. (hey, it's my job) BUT YES, anway, 40 minutes wait with one table in front of you seems a little odd, especially when they only got their food 10 minutes before us. You have to wonder what happens when they're busy.

The food, anyway, was fine. Nothing exciting i have to say and a little expensive for what is very average bar lunch. My risotto lacked the creaminess it should have and the chicken seemed pre-grilled and refrigereted, the deep fried parsley on top was just a bit odd. My companions burger looked better, but a little overcooked. The chips were amazing though apparently. Disappointing considering they were both over £10.
I didn't fancy pudding, so we had coffee and a tea. These arrived swiftly as did the bill. I even got good advice on where to get a nice bunch of flowers, so all was not lost.

Monteiths is good and atmospheric for a drink. The cocktails looked amazing and the whisky range is broad and VERY reasonably priced. The bar is well stocked, so next time I'll give the food a miss and have a gin martini thank you very much.

Lunch for two with two glasses of wine and hot drinks at the end plus tip was £37.